I dont want sex, i want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my.
Sex is nice too.
I was honestly expecting this to turn into a demonic sacrifice and now I’m disappointed
Thank you hail-meth-smoke-satan
June 2013
so i only wear this bra in the house because it's too small
and it, erm, pushes stuff up in a way that makes me look like a 19th century prostitute
possibly my favorite thing on the internet right now.
this is adorable and ridiculous. haha I wiiish I could get my boobs to look like that.
HAHA knitting
NO IN UR NEXT ANIME CONVENTION PLS COSPLAY AS SHINJI BUT U HAVE TO BRING A MUG AND JUST KIND OF LOOK AT PPL LIKE
PEOPLE WHO PLAYED ONLY KINGDOM HEARTS 1 AND 2 AND THINK THEY CAN JUST HOP RIGHT ON BOARD TO KINGDOM HEARTS 3
In Spanish, we don’t really say “I love you” we say “traeme una cerveza” which roughly translates to “you are the light of my soul” & I think that’s beautiful.
can someone explain the joke
how to spot a gringa in 2 seconds
Stages of friendship.
- Stage 1: writing like a formal essay. All grammar mistakes must be eliminated.
- Stage 2: capitalization can occasionally be forgotten, mistakes can pass without self-drama.
- Stage 3: when texting will sometimes use texting lingo like lol and smileys.
- Stage 4: type so fast you don't notice mistakes.
- Stage 5: all caps or no caps, what is English, only your partner can understand the secret code.
“Mr. Mayor, I’m reconsidering my position as your secretary…”
“…you’ll find my resignation in your office.”
“…and the police.”
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST POST
i don’t play animal crossing but i lol’d
TODAY MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER BURNED A DOLLAR IN FRONT OF US BUT HE FORGOT TO TELL US THAT THE DOLLAR WOULDNT BURN ONLY THE ALCOHOL WOULD SO HE TOOK OUT A 100 DOLLAR BILL AND SOAKED IT IN ALCOHOL AND WERE LIKE “WHAT ARE YOU DOING” AND HE CAUGHT IT ON FIRE AND WE ALL YELLED AT HIM BUT THEN IT WENT OUT AND THE BILL WAS FINE AND WE WERE SILENT FOR 20 MINUTES
How to get your class to shut up for the entire period: science teacher edition
you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”
what if we just created a fandom for a tv show that doesn’t exist and we build it up really big and make a ton of inside jokes until the internet just accepts it as a real show and it starts getting included in polls and gets it’s own imdb page and a group of outsiders go crazy trying to find dl links
Byakuya Togami is pouring so much hand sanitizer on his hands that it runs and spills all over the floor. Nonetheless, he continues to pour it. Makoto Naegi, seeing the mess his friend has made, comes over and says “Byakuya Togami, you are causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
However, Makoto Naegi ends up slipping and falls. Makoto Naegi is covered in hand sanitizer. He is so clean. Byakuya Togami is so clean. Byakuya’s hands are so clean.
When i find myself in times of trouble
Michael Jones comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom
how does one tell a boy that one likes him
I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:
- text them and start playing one of those 20q games
- if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
- if they ask “You like anyone?”
reply Yeah, you.- If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”
dude that is genius
slow clappin’ it out.
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR
ITS FUCKING TIP 394
“[TW: rape] Pornography affects people’s belief in rape myths. So for example if a woman says ‘I didn’t consent’ and people have been viewing pornography, they believe rape myths and believe the woman did consent no matter what she said. That when she said no, she meant yes. When she said she didn’t want to, that meant more beer. When she said she would prefer to go home, that means she’s a lesbian who needs to be given a good corrective experience. Pornography promotes these rape myths and desensitises people to violence against women so that you need more violence to become sexually aroused if you’re a pornography consumer. This is very well documented.”
—Catharine MacKinnon (via eauxmolly)